Our children did not attempt to hide their displeasure when I announced that we would be learning “manners” for our Family Home Evening lesson.  There were multiple groans and at least one whined, “Do we have too?” 

Too often, when teaching our children manners, we stop at the “magic words” of “please” and “thank you.”  I know many will agree that society does not place much value on courtesy and respect.  More often we find vulgarities and “in your face” behavior in advertising, media and even celebrities, political figures, and athletes.   As parents, we need to teach our children while they are young…the golden rule.  Said Jesus: “Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” (Matt. 7:12.)

There are several books available written on etiquette.  For our Family Home Evening lesson, we referred to The Guide to Good Manners for Kids by Peggy Post, granddaughter of the renowned Emily Post.

That evening I prepared several scenarios to teach proper behavior in certain situations.  For example, using our cell phone, we called our house and allowed our children to practice answering the telephone and taking a message.  We also learned about table setting, identifying the purpose of each utensil and, more importantly, how to behave at a dinner table.  Finally, we discussed the importance of first impressions and how to introduce and greet others, as well as have a conversation.

As opposed as my kids were to these lessons on manners, they had a lasting impression upon our family.  In fact, my youngest became the “Manners Police” at our dinner table.  She continues to remind us to place our napkins on our laps, pass the food to the left, and thank the person who made the meal.  She brings a smile to my face, as she ends each meal,   “Thank you for the wonderful dinner, may I be excused?” 

Follow-up Family Home Evening lessons have included writing thank you letters, appropriate ways of accepting and declining invitations and having a positive attitude.

Using manners is a choice.  When we teach our children, we allow them the opportunity to choose to be courteous, respectful and confident.  We help them to understand how to get along with others and what they should expect from others in return.  Teaching children ways to show love, kindness, consideration, and respect work to make the home a happier place.  The effects will then extend beyond our homes, and into our communities and the world. 

By:  Beth

 Post, Peggy.  The Guide to Good Manners for Kids, New York:  Harper Collins, 2004